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Ever since those days I’ve had this feeling in me. I feel cheated and uprooted. I can’t find home. It gets robbed from me over and over and I don’t think I will ever find it. It tears my soul from me and I’ve built protection brick by brick. I’ve been doing it for so long that I can’t see anything past it. I haven’t been able to jump in. I can’t settle within this threat of insecurity. I can’t see anything past it. It’s all brick. I don’t think I will ever break this feeling. I fight every day every time after every defeat. But in the darkness I feel. I feel I can never break from it. In that feeling is despair. The hopelessness of giving in to the understanding that I can never break this. Although I fight. Even so. The hopelessness in knowing this will be my place of no place no matter the perseverance is what makes me sad the most. I could stand to fight through another fail, knowing I will fail again. I could let the rush of acceptance of my place in despair engulf me and I would sink like an anchor. Yet when I fight I feel sunken even so. This place is no place to sit in but I find myself bound to its throne. It’s all brick.